You have the blue ones, the red ones and the grey ones but it’s hard to go past those lovely black ones with the shiny gold buckles and shoulder straps… boy they must be everyone’s favourite.
I know that they are everyone’s favourite because wherever you go and what every you do there are those babes with matt black handbags swinging along looking sophisticated, dapper and chic: all at the same time. It’s the kind of look that you associate with carrying a black handbag.
There is one drawback though… every now and then when you’re riding along with a bunch of girlfriends, sitting in a church or out to lunch with the girl and you rush off to the lady’s room, you might just grab the wrong one, by accident. I’ve done that.
In your haste you reach down and snatch someone else’s equally elegant bag, only to find as you reach the sink that instead of mouth mints and lipstick you find a chocolate wrappers and peanut shells… this isn’t my handbag - you realise with horror only to come racing back to the table and find that everyone is staring at you.
Their speechless glares are filled with accusation, your imagination runs wild wondering what they are thinking - “You thought that you could get away with it, didn’t you?”, “Taking her handbag… what a low life”… “We know your game, you nip off to the toilet and sniff around for all the loose change, that’s it isn’t it?”
Their eyes are fixed, you feel exposed.
“So sorry, this must be yours, my bag look just the same” You place the bag on the table and take back yours.
The owner snatches back her bag with disgust… a look of violation crosses her face.
Her handbag you see, is an extension of her. Touch her handbag and it’s as if you have touched her hand, or caressed her body. It’s personal, its intimate and is not to be trifled with and definitely not to be whisked off to the bathrooms with another woman.
No. Never. It’s unthinkable. No decent person would entertain such a thought, let alone – do it.
Yikes. A coffee out with the girls and now I felt like a bag snatcher… oh well, I guess it can’t be helped now.
I think that my next handbag will be red, yes definitely a nice red one. A real fashion statement, that’s what I need. This one should really stand out and not be mistaken again… I feel better already.